Crawling Moments: Chapter 10(Fatal choice)

What a certain Linkin Park song says is so true, “Fear is not afraid of you”. I didn’t know what to feel anymore! The feeling of hurt felt so minuscule as compared to the feeling of betrayal but all were not as great as my fear for what was coming. I didn’t want to spend the entire night moping in my apartment. I had to get out and do something. Drink, party, have sex, I didn’t know if anything could give me peace at that moment. Peace is not like a thought that when perceived it can bring forth a moment of enlightenment that seems to solve all problems, it is supposed to be an inherent part of one’s being that brings rest in times of unease. Peace brings no enlightenment; it only brings ease of soul and lightens the load on one’s chaotic mind. Who was I to be a philosopher anyway! Peace this, peace that! I was far from knowing what peace was in my own definition. I was just a little girl in a monstrous world just trying to deal with the fact of being a priced side of beef at the local meat market. I was sold for crying out loud! For what, a few pieces of silver. Who would have thought that Judas had an offspring so far into the future? I left my apartment and only one place was ringing bells in my mind, Joe’s house. I didn’t know how he would react but I had to start somewhere or else I would honestly just jump off the roof. I didn’t want to see Joe but I didn’t have anyone else to be with. ‘Prisoner of circumstance’ was soon to become my middle name! I walked to Joe’s house and soon enough I was there. I peeped through the window but I didn’t see anyone inside and knocking only left me more irritated. Funny enough Lee for Ashlee was walking on the other side of the street. She called out to me and I turned to face her. She crossed the road and I walked to meet her. She looked like a girl on a mission and I thought to myself, “Well, at least one of us has something to do.” “Hey, Joe isn’t around, I think he went to see his aunt or something. Yah! Anyway, I am going a few blocks down the road to see a friend of mine. He has something I seriously need and I can’t wait until tomorrow to get it. Come along, it will be fun!” I tagged along and soon enough we started talking about Joe. I could see that Ashlee liked him too, all she could yap about was how good looking he was and how she felt around him. I somewhat got the sense that she was marking territory. If she were a lion then I am sure by now I would have smelt the marking by now. I avoided saying anything about Joe other than covertly answering questions. I liked Joe, in fact, I wanted him badly. I felt weird when I was around him. All these warm lustrous feelings would come to be and all I would think about was when I could tear the clothes off his back.

We got to this street, “Drummond Avenue” and turned into it and soon enough stood before the door of a derelict looking house. Ashlee knocked and before long someone opened the door. It was a young looking guy who seemed well at home in there. “Hey Jamey, how’re you doing? This is my friend Rose. Have you got what I want, I got the cash right now?” Never blame a girl for being a dumb arse at times because purely she won’t know what in carnation is going on. “Coming right back, Ash!” The young man went back in and came back quickly enough. “You know what, come in and chill a bit!” Ashlee pushed open the door and rushed in and I saw no need to be cautious so I budged in as well. Ashlee rushed to the kitchen and started doing something. I was still overwhelmed with the entire place so I didn’t pay particular attention to her. The house looked like a house in the middle of a war zone. I was surprised it was still standing because it looked like it was going to cave in at any second. “Rose, come here and try something.” I walked to the kitchen and when I walked in, Ashlee was taking up a white powder using a glass pipe straight into her nose. “Try it, its fun!” I didn’t want to seem dumb so I didn’t object. I knew she was taking cocaine and I knew that cocaine was a very dangerous drug but thinking about all I was experiencing, cocaine looked like a valiant saviour. I knew close to nothing about the effects of drugs at that time, well, outside of hospital drugs that is. I was never exposed to such a reality so to me it never clicked that I was on my way to becoming an addict. I approached Ashley and took the pipe from her and in a split second, sniffed up cocaine into my nose. It didn’t take seconds for it to kick in. I immediately I started feeling weird. Once the drug entered my blood stream I started feeling invincible, like nothing could touch me. I felt good and I smiled. Ash was already in the zone and she felt like music. She went into the lounge and pumped up the radio. I was feeling awesome, pumped up like a double barrelled pump action shotgun. Music was flowing through the house and the moment felt so unreal, so godlike. I felt like a god, untouchable and unstoppable! The Columbian grown nectar of the gods, my dream of a powerful sensation! My heart was racing though and it felt weird but I guess that was part and parcel of the good feeling. I went over to Ash and we started dancing. Why, I really don’t know, I guess it went with the moment. Jamey went into the kitchen and brought out a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey. He put it on the table, “Now you girls play nice, I am going out for a bit.” He left the house and I remember Ash taking the first sip. A sip turned into a gulp and then the bottle was passed to me and I took in as much as I could. That was a very dangerous concoction, and soon enough it’s effects kicked in. I really felt on top of the world and powerful. Ash grabbed my collar and pulled me to her and in a split second kissed me. I didn’t hesitate, I kissed her back and the moment turned from craziness to inter-dimensional insanity. We fell to the couch, kissing and groping and partaking in all forms of things I had never imagined possible. The door opened and Jamey walked in and stood in the lounge. “I leave the house for ten seconds and you girls are already playing nasty! Finish your Columbian cocktail in the kitchen and get outta here, my girlfriend will be here soon and I am not planning on being descent!” I got up and pulled Ash up and both of us raced to the kitchen like a bunch of crazed puppies rushing to a dish full of delectable treats. In a split second we had taken in more cocaine. I started really feeling like I was totally invincible. Jamey kicked us out and we started walking going to God knows where but I think we were heading in the general direction of home. Ashlee was singing while bumping into trash cans on the pavement. I was singing along in bits as I was still drinking what was left of the whiskey. We saw a bench and went to sit on it singing as loud as we could and that was the last thing I remember doing. I didn’t remember anything after that! I woke up later to find myself in my apartment, tucked in my bed with Ashlee sleeping next to me. My head was pounding when I woke up, like the hypnotic tune of African drums. I didn’t know if the alcohol was the cause or the shear intensity or Ashlee’s snoring! It was as if a monster truck was backfiring from here to Baghdad! I got out of bed and struggled to find balance on my feet, all the time the question ringing in my head was “how did I get here?!” I balanced myself by holding on to the wall and anything that I could use as I headed into the lounge. I came into the lounge trying to get a bearing on the time of day but got the shock of my life! Someone was sitting on the couch and seemed asleep. I walked slowly and grabbed an umbrella that was next to the door. I tiptoed close to him and raised it so that I could unleash the pounding of his life onto him. I lifted the umbrella and targeted the back of his head and as I was about to strike him he spoke, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, a headache won’t be your only problem by the time I am through with you. You will be walking sideways for the rest of your life.” It was Corey! I put the umbrella down and went around the other side of the couch and sat next to him. “What are you doing here; don’t you have a life other than bugging me and always being a pest? If my boyfriend sees you here he will kill you!” Corey smirked and turned to look at me in the eyes, “I didn’t know he was your boyfriend, I guess I should update my notes though I know they are correct! You just opened a page of your life that you will wish you had never opened. Your choice, back off now or be changed forever! You are making a mistake; don’t go where you want to go. Cocaine will kill you! Ashlee will be waking up soon! The ball is in your court, I won’t be there next time to lift both of you up when you pass out on the bench along a quiet street.” Just like that Corey got up and left. I didn’t have the time for words, or I can say he never gave me the chance. Ashlee came into the lounge then and walked straight into the kitchen. I could tell she was hungry. She ate raw cereal as if there was no milk; I guess common sense is not so common at times! With a mouth full of cereal, she said, “Wait, where am I? How did I get here?!” She looked so idiotic asking that but I could tell she was being for real. In the back of my mind, something was tickling me. I had to go back for more!

Crawling Moments: Chapter 9(Defeated Trust)

Most men are so sweet, saying words so sweet to the ears with their slick tongues. Gosh, one would be a fool to think the earth is robbed of artistically creative people. Soothing masters of the ear that wants to be lied to! Everyone has a deep desire to feel wanted, needed, admired, liked and affectionately praised but to what degree must one bend the curve of logical thought for the sake of being emotionally bolstered with words of conniving serpents? It is hard to think there is any good in a man for in the end even the most promising, the most attractive, the most outstanding, the most principled are sadistic pieces of rubbish littering the face of the planet and robbing desperate hospitalized people of their much needed oxygen. Through this thought in the end, women can call men dogs but that would also disqualify the few men out there who are worth every hustle and tussle. One thing I have learnt though, it’s not always the men we suspect who turn out to be what we suspect, it’s always the ones who are under our noses who are most dangerous.

Joe that morning took me home and left me outside my apartment building. He promised to come back later to check on me and I told him my apartment number. I ascended the stairs feeling all warm and glittery inside as if a dormant candle inside me had finally been lit. Wow, what a moment that was! When you meet a guy and you think he is the ‘it’ and that no one else in the world matters except him. You always want him around you, the feeling of crazy love or crazy whatever it is will be a decadent dosage of aphrodisiac necessary for you to progress through the day. I felt all this and more! Joe had touched the right fuses inside. I had only known him for a night but I was ready to defend what I felt for him against the world. I thought of happy moments to come while I was advancing towards my apartment, such a toxic imagination at times. Well, truth be told, the hangover had its own take on matters and I felt that I was not in my right frame of mind at all.

I unlocked my apartment, got in and locked myself in. Soon enough I was on my bed speeding off to dreamland. I slept for a while and I remember going into bed at 0615. When I woke up it was just after 3 o’clock in the afternoon and I felt as fresh as a bird. I took a shower to scrub off all the party sweat and get a sense of freshness back into my life. Feeling like a stale piece of bread is not a comforting feeling for one like me. You will have to fight hard to keep the flies away! As soon as I stepped out of the shower, there was a knock at my door! I wrapped myself in a towel, well any suggestions on what else I could have done? I rushed to the door and opened it and as expected it was Joe! “Fashionably late, I expected you an hour ago! Is this how you keep a lady wondering?” As if I was up an hour ago you know, but I had to drive from somewhere so please try and understand! He came in and closed the door behind him. He kissed me on the cheek and moved from me and sat on the couch. “Nice to see you are in an ever so charming mood. Remind me to make it a point to be late by an hour from now on.” Well, I ran out of words to reply so I just signalled that I was going to my room to change. I changed into something casual, like ‘the girl out on a walk with her dude’ kind of casual and of course, the hat! Joe was much of a clotheshorse, everything about him had to be in so much coherence or else he would seem to be out of place. It was always the jean, the shirt, the cap, the sun glasses and then the Nike sneakers. Gosh, a tiresome routine if you ask me! After finishing the girl dress up routine, I came and sat next to him and gawked at him for a while. I don’t know what I wanted at that moment. I guess I just wanted to know where we all were with respect to how we were horsing around with each other. “What do you think about me Joe?” Joe did not give a hint of anything away, he just remained composed! “I think you are a beautiful girl, a nice person and a pathetic dancer!” The last part of that statement felt like a pump action shotgun round on my arse! “Ok, moving on then, how do you feel about me?” He smiled a bit and now looked me in the eyes, “I want to know you more. No violence, I just want to know all about you. I like you!” I guess that’s all that I needed to hear because on the inside a volcano erupted and I felt utter joy because I had hooked a seemingly good guy out of the ocean of sharks, stingrays, jelly fish and killer whales! I hugged him and I put all the warmth I was feeling at that moment! Could this be love, the whimsical tale of a happy everlasting story that has decided to grace me in my moment of turmoil?

But the correct question one like myself would ask is that, why would such a good thing come at such a bad time? Talk about bad timing! It’s like finding out you are pregnant with another man’s child when you are about to be married to the man of your dreams. I knew what I was and if I messed around with Joe, I would kill him in the end. I couldn’t let him stay around me because I didn’t know what would make me blow a fuse and I would hate to kill him. I burst into tears while I held him and I felt all the warmth in me disappear for in that moment I truly realised that I was meant to be never loved, never desired, never needed! Like a repulsive smell, no one would want to be around me. Joe didn’t know what I meant when I told him that I could kill him and I doubt he would understand it even if I told him. I released my hold on him and asked him to leave. He was really shocked and surprised but at least he was a bright boy. He got up and waved good bye and left my apartment. I doubted he was going to come back anytime soon. Who in this age messes with severe nutcases like me? It is like trying to put butter on a saturated sandwich, it will have little effect. I felt so horrid inside, like I truly did not deserve love or anything of that effect. The curse of the damned truly exists because I had partaken of its evil fruit. I tried to stop crying but the tears kept rolling down my cheeks. All the hurt, all the deaths, all the pain I have felt, all the things I had seen and all the things that had been done to me had now suddenly bore their quiet intensity on me and I felt like a grain of sand in the vastness of a desert. Why me of all the people? There are millions of girls my age out there; why me? Why did my mom have to die, my dad die, and everything around me turn so rotten? Why did it have to be me? Did God even at all see me as his creation or something he built from the left over clay of his masterpieces? He didn’t love me; he didn’t even love me for what type of a Father would leave me to such a horrid existence?

I was falling apart and I knew it! I rushed into my room and put on some slippers and I ran out of the door. I ran after Joe so hard because I thought he would be far away by now but as soon as I got off the last flight of stairs I saw him sitting on the bench outside. My heart for that moment rejoiced because I so wanted to believe that he was my answer. I wanted to believe so badly that I (her or Joe?) would take anything that came my way. I approached the bench trying to rub away the tears and sat next to him. I didn’t know what to think, what to feel, for in a sense even I did not want to be associated with me. To act like a deranged fool all the time would not be such an interesting quality to the eye of another person. I tried to turn so that I could look him in the eyes but I couldn’t. Tears trickled down my cheeks, one drop after the other like an approaching rain shower. I stood up and made my way for the door as I felt there was no reason to pursue Joe anymore. I couldn’t be loved; I was just too rotten, too disorderly to even be able to make a person have warm affection for me. Joe however grabbed me by the hand and pulled me back. I tried to run but he wouldn’t let me go and I tried to release his grip on my hand but he held it tightly. I didn’t want to be close to him but he didn’t want to let me go.  “What do you want from me Joe? You can’t love me, no one can! Let me be and let me die; maybe death will bring an unsung peace unto my rotting bones. At least in the grave I won’t worry that I am rotting for it is only by nature that I do so. To rot while I am alive kills the inner me, let me be! You don’t deserve trash like me!” I could feel him loosening his grip but he didn’t want to. I snatched my hand and rushed through the door and up the stairs to my room. I opened my door and closed it and fell to the floor in sobbing tears. “Why me? Why me you elemental beings of the universe? Why me?!” I could feel a strange pain all inside me as if every part of me wanted to cry out with me. I was now so lost in a web of confusion that even I did not really know why all this was happening. “God, many people lose their parents, lose their relatives but none have gone through what I have gone through. Taking my home, my mother, my father, my life, my hair, my dreams. By no right must you call yourself my Father for what kind of a Father would put their child through such pain? What king or a Father would abandon me in such a moment?” I kept on crying, getting lost in all the confusion and pain. What else could I do? How could a perfect life come crushing down like this? While I was on the floor there was a knock on the door and I seriously was not in the mood for visitors. “Go away; I don’t want to see anyone!” The person knocked again and again until I got so infuriated I got up and unlocked the door.

On opening the door I felt a surge of surprise rush through me. There stood the boy from earlier, the boy clad in black who spoke to me while I was coming from the police station. He didn’t wait for permission to come in, he just walked, closed the door behind him, went into my kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. “That water is not free you know. I don’t support charity. What do you want? Spit it out and be on your way. I don’t need your philosophical rubbish today.” Funny enough he didn’t drink the water, he took the water filled glass and came with it to the couch and he sat down. He tapped next to him and I took it as a cue to come and sit next to him and so I did. He put the glass on the table and looked me in the eye. He had such a cold stare and I felt terrified for a bit “Now if you are done bickering you will hear what I have to say. You say that God has no right to call himself your Father! I guess you don’t know the truth but for your sake I will tell you. When your mother died, your father suffered a great deal of pain for he was afraid to raise you on his own. He found comfort in riches and in his chase for financial gain he sold a soul to attain what he sought. The covenant was established and he got the riches he was looking for but in a moment of greed, he sought to not honour his covenant anymore for he felt he made a mistake. And so the being he made the covenant with had your father indicted in a fraud scandal in which he was going to go to jail for a long time. Your father not wanting that took his life but before he took his life he didn’t break the covenant that held the sacrificial lamb as his key to riches. Now that he is past, the being he made the covenant with by right owns this sacrificial lamb.” For a moment I paused to think why he was telling me all this. So who did my father sacrifice? Definitely not me because my father would never do such a thing. In fact, my father would never desire riches like that! These all sounded like fabricated lies. I stood up wanting to defend my father but he pulled me back down. I felt the urge to ask him because I was beginning to think that there might be a possibility. “Who did my dad sacrifice? Who is this person who was his door to riches? Who did he make a deal with? Tell me, I want to know!” I practically had a hunch on his answer and a tear had started rolling down my cheek. “You. Your father sold your soul for riches. He made a deal with the devil, Sylvanas’s master and that’s how you have come to where you are now.” I stood up and attempted to move from the couch but he followed me. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife and threatened to stab him if he came any closer. “Stay away, you lying, conniving thing! I will kill you! How dare you say my father did this to me? It is God, he hates me! Not my father, no!” He backed off a bit and kept his eyes on me. “If you think I am telling a lie, hear it from him.” At that moment he seemed to have gone into deep thought and suddenly Jonah just flashed into the room from nowhere. “Nice to see you Jonah, I believe you have some explaining to do.”  Jonah seemed still in shock and very uneasy as to how he got to where he was. “Corey, I hate it when you do that. What do you want? I really should have killed you when I had the chance.” “Thank you for your warm sentiments Jonah. Now if you don’t mind, explain to her how she is bound to your master, maybe she will believe you when you tell the truth for a change.” Jonah seemed very cautious as he didn’t take his eyes off Corey. “Your father traded in your soul for riches you little twit. Gees, it happens all the time, it’s nothing new. Grow up and just deal with it, you are ours now so don’t get any ideas.”  At that moment I felt like I had swallowed a whole ice cube and it was now stuck in my throat. I was fast running out of air and in so much disbelief. My own father sold me for riches. “Why’d you ask Juniper? Well learn this today, a broken man is the easiest person to make a deal with because he no longer holds his values and virtues on his chest but he is looking for a quick way out of the pain.” Corey nodded his head in approval and for a second I could feel everything inside me starting to crumble. “You can leave now Jonah.” Jonah vanished again and now it was just back to the two of us. My own father, such a hard point to swallow. I didn’t know what to feel anymore; to cry, to shout, to feel angry, to feel rejected and denied. Now everything made sense, the chaos dimension, Jonah, Sylvanas, this split personality of mine, everything! Ever been at a point where emotional pain actually ends up making your heart feel pain, I was at that point. I dropped the knife and sat down on the kitchen floor. Me; sold like a kitchen utensil! Corey came and sat next to me and picked up the knife I had dropped. “You know this used to be my best friend, but I guess a disturbed life can only repeat itself if it’s a matter of choice. You say that God has abandoned you! Fine, believe what you must! You saw that glass on the table? By the time you go to look at it, something will have happened to it. Tonight you will be on show.” Corey stood up and started walking towards the door and just as he was about to open it I felt the need to ask him a stupid question. “Corey, how much was I worth when the deal was made?” Corey stopped for a moment and turned to face me, “Round about five hundred thousand but due to your continued existence, the covenant is still operational and the covenant is now worth close to seven hundred million.” I laughed for a bit. Wow, what a selling price as well! I guess in a sense, I had now felt the truth of the deception that has led me thus far, the true element of defeated trust. Hell had always lain intrinsic in the gifts of Eden.

Crawling Moments: Chapter 8(Infatuated choice)

I got home just in time because sooner than expected, Henry arrived. Imagine if he had found me “flirting” outside! He wasn’t his usual self, except from being tired from a daylong shift. He had something troubling his mind! It was Danny from what I could see! “Jun, I got the results from Danny’s autopsy and it turns out that he was poisoned in a very strange and peculiar way. Snake bites on his genitals; I can’t imagine him taking joy in having perverse games with reptiles. Something just isn’t making sense!” He sat down and looked at me! I didn’t feel the need to tell him my side of the story; it was so wild that even a man as educated as he was would not believe it. He put his feet on the table and disappeared into his thoughts. “Unless there are snakes in this building!” I laughed out loud and I immediately noticed it was rather inappropriate. “There are no snakes in the building Henry, your guess about Danny is as good as mine. I hate snakes and I can sense them a mile away. If one was here I would have been the first to leave!” His intrigue covered face lightened up a bit and he immediately frowned! “I heard you went to the police station, what about?” I was now in the queue for some explaining. “I wanted to see if I could help the police but they threw away anything I came up with so I left and came home. Don’t worry, no one could recognise me with what I was wearing. I thought I had remembered something about the noise but it turns out I couldn’t remember exactly what it was so the officer wouldn’t believe any contribution I had. From the looks of things, he for a minute thought I was a woman who could change into a snake!” Henry laughed and took on a serious face again, “Now no Halloween trips please. If you get caught out there I can’t protect you. Don’t leave this place unless it’s really necessary.” He turned to look at the kitchen with a huge grin on his face. “Well, I am hungry and you being a lovely lady, you can cook for the man of the house!” for a moment I felt the urge to cook something so vile he would need a doctor to patch him up but I guess I couldn’t do that. “I don’t remember being married to you Henry! After all, what are your endless girlfriends suppose to say if I start feeding you. It’s like leaving your house smelling like one brand of deodorant and coming back smelling like another. You will have a huge tribunal on your hands. Besides, I thought you were used to hospital food, seeing how you are a walking representation of every dietary disaster in that hospital of yours!” He smirked and wouldn’t budge on his request. I took the cue and came up with an idea. My dad loved Tabasco hot sauce. I went through the kitchen and looked for it and mysteriously found it along with several chillies and all sorts of hot stuff. I put them all into the pot and simmered them for 30 minutes and goodness was the smell tantalising. My only hope was that they would not leave the body as hot as they came in. I served the good doctor and declined to join him for the sake of my health. He quickly got into it and here comes the interesting part. He took one spoonful in and as soon as it touched his tongue he spit it out onto the table. It shimmered for a bit on the table and he looked stunned. “What is this Jun? Can you see its cooking the table! You want to kill me or something? Never mind, I am not hungry anymore, I would rather be empty than full of toilet fever!” I was now laughing so hard I started crying! He passed the plate to me and gave me a spoon. “Taste your creation!” I took the spoon and took a bit and put it on my tongue. My eyeballs almost fell out of their sockets. I rushed into the bathroom and drank some water but that made it worse. The hot disaster flowed into my belly and with the water I swallowed and soon enough my body hairs were standing to the point! Henry was having the time of his life and I was in toture-ville! I drank more water until my stomach stopped rumbling. I walked out of the bathroom, hand on my belly and sat next to Henry and I pushed the plate away! How did my father survive these things?! Henry stood up and waved at me. He was leaving and my; did he have a grin on his face. “If you have any more stomach problems, go to the police. Don’t call me, I might revenge this!” He was singing on his way out and down the stairs. I cleaned up and sat in front of the television afterwards. I had a quick uneventful nap but was woken up by the noise of a radio playing nearby. It sounded like there was a party in the hood. I looked around and found nothing to do, so I guessed it would be good to go out for a bit. I had always been a girl for the outings and stuff; it’s just that I hid it well. I rushed into my room and put on a pair of blue jeans, a black top and a jacket. Funny enough, I never forgot my gloves when I left the house. I put on Timberland boots with socks of course and a hat to cover my face. I rushed out of the house locking the door on my way out. I made my way onto the street and tried to hear the direction of the party. There was a lot of activity two streets down from where I was so I started walking in that direction. I got into the street “Baddington Avenue” and saw the party house. There were a lot of people around so it was definitely a hip joint. I walked slowly towards the house because I noticed that a lot of eyes wanted to know the new girl.

As I neared the house, I saw my secret admirer, well the one I purposefully humiliated earlier! He had gained his composure now and seemed to be mindful of how he acted around me. He didn’t do anything stupid or say anything at all, he simply just signalled his boys as to my presence and they in turn started laughing at him. I walked closer to the house and stopped close to a group of girls who were standing outside. They were talking a lot of stuff I didn’t even know about and for a moment I doubted the authenticity of their conversations. One of them saw me and came close to where I was. “Hi, you must be the new girl everyone is talking about! I am Lee, Lee for Ashlee. I stay down the street, who are you?” I paused for a bit and debated if I should reveal my name. She looked like she wasn’t going to give up so I decided to give her my third name which no one except my parents and I knew. “My name is Rose, Rose for Rose! Yah I am new here. So what’s this all about? Good times or what?” Ashlee laughed for a bit and then looked around for someone who she found after much searching. “Look, you see that guy, in the black baggy jeans and white shirt. He is called Joe, Joe for Joey and he stays here and he is the host today so yah! Bring and share thing.” Well to my surprise, Joe was the guy I had the fun filled altercation with a few hours earlier. I laughed for a bit and that only helped in elevating Ashlee’s level of keenness. “Why you laughing Rose?” I turned to face her trying to get my act together, well if at all I could do that! “Well, I already met Joe! Funny guy, he said something to me and I kicked him in the nuts. I doubt we will get along now!” Ashlee was all tears in laughter and all the girls now wanted to know what she was on about. “She is the one who kicked Joe in the penalty box?” All the girls came closer, laughing, cheering and having a good time with the story. I guess the party had finally begun and me, your hostess, had come on with a fiery appetite for organised chaos! The girls were loud, funny and all about the current boy-girl issues. The music was nice, even though I didn’t recognise most of the tracks. Funny enough, boys started coming to where we were standing and getting girls who they normally chilled with. That left me in a precarious situation, I didn’t chill with anyone! Well, the only person left was my little admirer with a knack for getting on the wrong side of my foot. I guess next time I will just realign his posterior with my foot. Its better you know! He was standing there and he looked to be debating whether to approach me or not. I was doing the same because honestly I didn’t want to endanger his life. Well moments later he walked towards me and everyone cheered and laughed as he walked. Damn, news moved fast in that section of town, I had to keep a watchful eye! He stood in front of me without words and I hid behind my hat. I looked him top to bottom and found that he was quite an interesting character. A bit of muscle and cute!

“Ahhm, about earlier I didn’t mean to get off on the wrong foot. I am sorry ‘bout violating your space, that just wasn’t playing the game right. Peace and be done with it?” His voice was a bit shaky and a lot descent, not the ‘hey shawty’ talk earlier that got him on the grid. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t want to give him any impression or anything but I didn’t want to seem rude as well. “Thanks Joe for Joey, Peace and be done with it for sure. I am Rose, Rose for Rose! Sorry, I am talking like Ashlee, funny ha! I am new here so I just wanted to check what the commotion is about.” Joe was a bit intrigued but didn’t show it. Whoever told guys that chewing a toothpick or a matchstick makes them sexier must go back to mental rehabilitation, it’s so annoying! “I think you should lose the toothpick before you have a throat problem. You have had a problem earlier I think you want to forget!” He took the cue and spit it out immediately. For such a guy I was shocked he was so quick to respond. It was as if he was afraid of me or something. I looked around and everyone was gawking awkwardly in our direction. People at times are weird you know! “Well, come inside and I can get you a drink!” The offer sounded good and I followed him into the house. At least I would be far away from the crazy crowd. We went into the kitchen and he offered me a cider. Truth be told, I had never tasted alcohol my entire life not because I couldn’t but because I had never been exposed to it. I was keen on the experience and I accepted it from him. I opened it and tasted it and strangely, it tasted nice and sharp to my taste buds. He was drinking one as well and he couldn’t keep his eyes from trying to get under my hat. I was feeling all sorts of things inside: warm cuddly emotions, fear for his sake, a bit of lust for him and all sorts of craziness that go down with the first cider of the day. “Why don’t you take your hat off?” I looked at him for a bit and laughed inside. “You won’t like what you see; I was given a nasty haircut today.” He smirked thinking I was joking but seemed to acknowledge the intensity of the statement. I was bald for crying out loud, I didn’t even like the way my scalp looked. Gees, like a runway on the top of a walking hill, Boeing pilots won’t have a hard time performing a crash landing on my head during their test flights. He was so keen I felt I would let him down in a sense. “Where is your room so that I can show you?” He stood up and signalled me to follow him. Soon enough we were in his little humble paradise. Everything was in a sense of commotion in his room so I guess he had order problems but then again, he’s a boy so that explains it! He closed the door and locked it! He had a mirror on his closet door and I walked to it. He came next to me and looked into the mirror. I slowly took of my hat and showed him what I was all about. He was shocked and his face spelt the nature of intrigue. “What happened to your hair, did you cut it off when it said good morning to you?” I felt the urge to laugh because he was smiling at me. “Someone threw raw eggs at me and one of them decorated my hair. So being terribly allergic to eggs, the doctor had to cut it off to keep me from getting sick.” He smiled and I guess he was feeling a bit good about me also having my beat down moment. He took the hat from my hands and put it back onto my head. “Our little secret”, he gestured and I nodded in agreement. “So you mean someone kicked your butt, damn, I need to get that dude’s number! He needs to do some damage control right here!” I looked at him and he stepped back a bit but I wasn’t going to do anything to him. He was sweet and funny! Well that’s the impression he gave so I had to believe in something. He unlocked the door and waved for me to follow him. I guess he didn’t want to be beaten up in his own room so he had to go where people would save him. There were people everywhere in the house now. The DJ, quite a short dude played my favourite track “Request Line” by Macy Gray and I felt the urge to dance. I grabbed Joe by the hand and pulled him to the lounge where a lot of people were dancing and having a good time. “Come-on this is my favourite track. Let’s Dance!” Truth be told, I just wanted to be held. So much had come crushing down that I missed the effect of being held warmly. Well, Request Line is not a slow song so for the most I was doing my silly dances and he was trying to catch up. For a moment I felt free but I knew I had tears to cry, memories to live, a father to bury, people to kill, a city to evade and a life to live. Not a very cosy cup of tea and for at least a sudden moment, not a comforting thought since I was looking for affection. We got quite close to each other and for a guy I had beaten earlier, he knew how to hold me! We danced song after song, bottle after bottle until time started moving backwards and the songs were playing in rewind.

People around us were either dancing, or making out or on the verge of talking to the president and the first lady! Joe liked me, I could tell that and I felt something for him, I just didn’t know how to deal with me. He held me so nicely and I looked into his eyes. A man never looks ugly if you have had a few so I won’t speculate on how he looked but there are others who remain unchanged no matter how many ‘few’ you have though! He kissed me and I felt a huge burning desire inside me erupting like a fuming volcano coming from an induced period of silence. I am sure he felt it too because he led me to his room. Things could have gotten wild there but I am glad they never! We were doing all sorts of things behind enemy lines and we came short of walking the walk of death. I wanted him so badly but when I opened my eyes in the moment I saw Danny instead of him. I didn’t panic but I stopped him and pushed him aside. He quickly became sober as if I had robbed him again of his manhood. “It’s not worth it, what you want to do with me! You will die if you do so. Maybe another day, I can’t kill you. I just don’t have it in me!” he smiled and nodded and I hoped he understood. He took a sheet off his bed and wrapped me in it and kissed me on the forehead. At least he didn’t do anything that would require another beating! He led me out of his room and he took me to the back of the house. There was a swing there and the most beautiful night sky I ever had seen. It must have been just after 1am now and I saw no point in going home! I looked at the stars and he held me as we just observed silence. My life had been like starts once, so free but now it felt like an asteroid had passed through me and the once tranquil existence of the interstellar forces that gave me peace was disrupted. I began crying, I could hold the tears no more, for the first time my heart ached for my dead father. I cried and he held me close as if he knew what was making me cry. There was no holding back any pain, I cried tears of many rivers and asked unanswered questions. “Daddy was gone, mommy was gone and all that was left was me. Little young, stupid me!” He held me from the back and after a time he turned me around to face him. He wiped my tears and smiled a bit! “I am sorry if I forced myself on you, I just got so attracted to you from the first time I saw you! I know who you are Rose, or should I say Juniper Miles! I recognised you from the news and the hospital. I was visiting my aunt who was on the same floor you were. I saw your room and I came in to see you but you were asleep. You looked so beautiful even though you were wrapped in a facial bandage! I later saw you on the news when you were attacked as they discharged you. But I never figured you would end up so close to me. I am the only who knows who you are and I won’t tell anyone! I will protect you Rose; I will be there for you!” I looked at him, so amazed and perplexed but I felt no need to not trust him. In a split second, I chose to trust a person who seemed to hold warm sentiments and a notion of care towards my life. He held me for a time and then told me to sit on the swing so that he could push me. Like a child I sat and he pushed me. I liked the wind rushing past my face. I felt so free for a moment but like any other day, the sun was about to rise and soon enough, a day would come into seeing!

Crawling Moments: Chapter 7(Unseen Shadow)

Time passed while I was sitting by the door. I couldn’t move! Shock is such a good friend in the midsts of such turmoil and unbelievable atrocity. How could I do such a thing? I was the daughter of a pastor; I knew better that to defile myself and another person through sexual deeds. Danny was dead and it was my fault, why couldn’t I control my actions? Why am I a slave to this beast inside me? It comes out when it pleases and hurts people around me. How can it be so strong and so ruthless? If God could see this then why me? Why curse me to such a lingering darkness, that it should consume my soul until eternity’s end. Would mommy and daddy be proud of me now? Such a monster had I become. Never would they have imagined that I would be such a person. My mom would not look at me; I have disappointed them both. I had to come clean, maybe someone could help me. Maybe the police and doctors could see the truth behind my confession and help me atone for my sins. I stood up and went into the bathroom to look at myself. My eyes were baggy and I didn’t look at all beautiful either. I was now a monster in my own eyes. A tear raced down my left cheek, I couldn’t understand who I was anymore. I went into my bedroom and tried to put on some make up to cover up for my ugliness. I chose to wear a cap and sun glasses to avoid being recognized. I got out of the apartment and followed an unfamiliar route downstairs. I soon found myself standing outside and looking for the direction of the police station. It was just after 8 o’clock now so there was activity everywhere. The police station had to be at least five blocks down the street. That’s the direction the police cars came from earlier so that was as good a starting point as any. I started walking as fast as I could and soon enough the police station came into sight. While I was crossing a street to get onto the fourth block, I passed a boy! He looked to be in his late teens, black dense hair and dark skin. He had a confident and stern face and he was clad in black. He walked passed me slowly and never turned to look back. I stopped and turned to look at him. My heart was racing and it was as if I had just seen a ghost or something supernatural. He kept on walking and soon disappeared at the corner. I raced to the corner to look for him but when I got there he was nowhere to be seen. I was confused, thoroughly vexed and uneasy. “Where is he, where did he go? Damn it!” My predator friend was talking now and I was listening. Who was he that he or she or whatever that predator was, would be so afraid and vexed by him? He looked quite normal to me, not all cute but nothing spectacular from the stable in which men come from. I am not implying that men are donkeys and horses! If you are a woman you will get what I am saying! My predator friend went back into hiding and I was back into control. I turned to continue with my journey and not soon enough for me! All this commotion had scared me into thinking I was on the line for round two. I got to the main entrance of the police station and bumped into the detective who I had spoken to earlier. Jonathan didn’t look all that bad when he wasn’t on the job; it’s just that the police face took away most of his gorgeous looks! A coffee cup and doughnut in hand; gosh, those two things must be an oath of service they take so that bakeries remain sustainable through the millennia.

“Morning detective, can I have a word with you with respect to the incident you came to see me about this morning? Can you also get a doctor to be with you when we talk? I doubt you will believe my story. Oh one more thing detective, if the doctor can carry a portable X-ray machine, it will be an added advantage to you!” Jonathan looked surprised and puzzled, but he took me into one of the interrogation rooms and left. Half an hour later he returned with a doctor and the X-ray machine. They both sat in front of me with a bit of enthusiasm and curiosity splattered all over their faces. The doctor spoke first, “Morning Miss Miles, I am sure you want to hear how Daniel died. Preliminary tests show that he died from severe poisoning. He had five small bite marks on his swollen penis and from the looks of things that’s where the poison entered. The toxin is rare and is only found in highly venomous snakes which are not indigenous to this country. From the looks of things, it looked like he could feel it destroying him inside and that explains why he was acting the way he was just before he died. They are still cutting him up to see if anything more can be revealed but it looks like he had an altercation with a snake. What doesn’t make sense though is how he ended up being bitten in his genitals of all places. There were traces of semen all over him highlighting that he might have had sexual intercourse a number of times before he died. That’s just about it so if you have anything to add to make our case simpler then please, shoot.” I was shaken and scared by what the doctor had told me. I breathed deeply a bit and tried to find a comfortable position to sit. Jonathan was now curious as to why I was there and looked like he would have arrested me for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. “Doctor, something happened to me last night. I have been having a series of nightmares where I go to this chaos dimension where a certain man does things to me. Last night he inserted two snakes into me. One would prevent me from having children while the other would kill anyone who had sex with me. Last night at around midnight I left the apartment and went out. That’s when I bumped into Danny. I forced myself onto him and went back to his apartment. I rapped him five times and then left to go into my apartment. Moments later that’s when he started going crazy before he called you. I asked for an x-ray machine so that you could see for yourself what has been done to me.” The gentleman looked to be on the verge of laughter but what held them back was the point about the snakes. The doctor whispered into the detective’s ear and then the officer stood up and locked the door. “Miss Miles, please lie on the table and let’s use the machine to see your friends. I hope you know that if what you say is true, you will be charged with culpable homicide.” I complied and lay on the table on my back. The doctor asked me to pull up my shirt of which I did so so as to reveal my belly. He switched on the machine and punched a few buttons. He then waved one end of the machine over me a couple of times. A picture came out on the screen of the other end that he was holding. The machine took a still picture of that and then the doctor walked away to the officer. They deliberated for a few seconds without letting anything out. I got off the table and sat on the chair trying to imagine life in jail. The gentleman came back and sat on the table with me. The doctor turned the screen so that it could face me. “Now Miss, you see this picture, it tells me that inside you there are no foreign organisms or snakes even. Those are your intestines right there, so if that’s the snake you are talking about then please know that all of us have them and they are very handy in our day to day living. There is your liver, your uterus, and so on. As you can see, there is no snake or there are no snakes inside you. Don’t even suggest we open you up because I guarantee you that there is nothing inside you.” Jonathan looked disappointed and unmoved, “Miss Miles, I understand that you feel guilty for not being able to help Daniel. But your story is wild and baseless. Please don’t waste our time if you have nothing credible to say. We could charge you with obstruction of Justice if you persist with your crazy stories. Now if you will follow me, I will show you out.” I was stunned and shocked. I was telling the truth for once and no one would believe me. “Detective, if you don’t believe me then have sex with me right now and see if you won’t die. I am telling you the truth. He has bruises because I beat him up and manhandled him. I rapped him damn it, believe me!” The detective was offended and came to where I was sitting, “Miss, if you have a night occupation that you want to turn into a day occupation, I am sure we can arrest you on grounds of public indecency. Its best you leave before I find a reason other than murder and pissing of a detective to arrest you. Your story is baseless so let’s leave it there. No man or woman can have snakes inside of them and live. Now please ma’am, leave now before you cause a scene you will regret.” I felt so defeated I stood up and ran out of the police station in tears. I ran a few blocks towards home and then stopped to get some breath.

Jonah’s voice came into my head “Don’t worry Jun, if you go to see a doctor, he or she won’t find anything in your physical body but trust me, you are now mine and you shall know fear and endless death.” He had said that earlier, I had forgotten. I felt so stupid and idiotic. I had just made an idiot of myself and now no one would believe anything I say. I sat on the pavement in tears and disbelief. I was so consumed in the moment that I never saw the boy from earlier walking towards me. When I finally saw him, he was a few steps, walking so calmly and he just had this look on him that forced his presence onto me. He approached me and knelt next to me. “Good morning Juniper Rose Miles. What a night wasn’t it? Funny that no one believes your story. Ignorant policeman wasn’t he? Take this and wipe you tears.” He handed me a white handkerchief and then he sat next to me. I was afraid for him since that thing could erupt at any time. “Don’t worry Juniper, your friend can’t hurt me. He would have come out a long time ago if he could.” He spoke so calmly and his voice, felt authoritarian in a sense. I wiped my tears and tried to look at him. I saw nothing special on him; he just looked like a teen with issues from the ghetto. “How do you know me, whoever you are? Why are you stalking me? Do you like me or something? If you do, leave me alone. I will kill you.” He laughed but his face showed he couldn’t smile, “Gees, you are so weird. You can’t hurt me but if I want I can hurt you. But that’s not why I am here. This is the time of reckoning, the season of great change! Be brave for what you shall see will turn you inside out. Such a weakling you are but to win is to find strength in places you never knew. I cannot help you, this path you must walk alone. I must go now, I will be watching you and my eyes see deeper than yours. Your friends will be hungry soon. Take care!” he stood up and started walking back in the direction he came. I kind of figured it was pointless to chase after him so I remained sitting. He disappeared at the corner and I took it as my cue to go home. I stood up and walked home. People noticed the new girl in the street and some of the guys were chanting catch phrases and speaking confidently as if they knew how to hunt the hunter. I rushed up stairs and locked myself in my little apartment. I made a boy’s breakfast (toast, eggs and OJ) and ate as best as I could. Dishes had accumulated so I had to take care of those. I picked up the satchel which I had left on the floor and went to sit on the couch. I debated what to do first, watch a movie or play a game. I popped in a movie and it was these weather chasers chasing tornadoes and stuff. Weird people they are, you would never catch me within 500 miles of such a freak of nature. I let it play and took the Playstation portable out. It was fully charged and it had a game inside. I wasn’t much of a game but it was better than watching Betty, Tom and their son Timmy chasing after a tornado. The game inside was called Jax 2. The guy could turn purple and super powerful. I felt so alike to him; at least he wasn’t killing people in an awkward way.


While the game was loading it froze, I thought it was all part and parcel of the game but on the screen I saw Danny’s scared face. I dropped the PSP and tried to get away from it. A few seconds later, I opened my door to look next door. There was yellow tape across Danny’s door. The crime scene boys had left and I guess there was nothing more to say in there. The door was locked tight so I couldn’t get in. I went back into my apartment and sat on the couch, I picked up the PSP and the game was now working. I started playing but I wasn’t winning. I kept on being beaten up and I soon grew tired. I switched it off and tossed it aside. I tried to pay attention to the movie but gosh it was boring. Hollywood is always making happy ever after stories and it has somewhat become stale. Such a bore and waste of honest law abiding citizens, time and money! I have never been much of a television fanatic. Outside of my cosy bedroom, I never had someone really to care about except my dad. Where were the people who called themselves my friends? Belana , Jefferson, Tommy; where were all those guys? “Through everything, together guys!” that’s all they always used to say but I needed them now and none of them were near where I was. Was friendship a lie, a convenient relationship of portraying assumed emotions to achieve a status of being socially acceptable? Was it all just a game? Like a used piece of contraception, I felt. Stretched and wasted, thrown away so that the harsh elements of the earth could grind me to dirt. Where were my friends, why do I have to take counsel from a stranger when I had friends? Why was everyone abandoning me? Why did daddy leave me without saying goodbye? Did he hate me that much?! Did he deem it necessary to forsake me to such a wrath? Where was the justice of the God he spoke about? At most, he was myth to thought, a disposition meant to bring assumed comfort. How could he be this strong being when he was leaving me to burn? No matter where I looked, all that seemed to justify my situation was that no one loved me, and no one cared. I went into my room and looked for my diary. I found it in between my clothes. I came back to the living room and sat down so that I could write. I opened the page “March 16” and tried to write. Tears rolled down my cheeks and stained the paper. I wrote “To a God who doesn’t care, know that you killed me!”  I tore the page out in a fit of anger and nothingness and crushed it in my hand. I stood and approached the window overlooking the outside pavement. I opened the window and threw the paper out. I closed the window and went back to sit down. I hated how I felt; I was so unreal unto my own thoughts. My birthday was only 9 days away and here I was all alone!

I tried to hold back the tears but I felt so defeated, so violated. I always wanted to stay a virgin until I got married. I never wanted to lose my virginity in the way I did. I killed a person and no one would believe me. “Poor Danny, please forgive me!” echoed the words in my head as I muttered them. What was happening? What warranted this to happen to me? Hour after hour went past as I was lost in endless realms of thoughts and regrets. Soon enough it was 4 o’clock in the afternoon. There was so much activity outside yet I never heard it, I was shut off. All alone! At about midday earlier I heard the sound of a church bell nearby. I decided to dress up and look for the church. Maybe if I confessed my sins I would find peace. I got out of the apartment clothed in black with a cap, glasses and leather gloves on. I walked out of the building towards where I had heard the sound. Soon enough I saw the bell towering above all the other buildings. I walked fast to avoid being noticed and soon enough I was in front of the church. I walked into the church and it was a Roman Catholic Church. I approached the altar and fell to my knees and broke into tears. I couldn’t believe what I was. A man who I assumed to be the Father at the church approached me calmly and knelt next to me. “Weep not child, it will be ok.” He did not know who or what I was and I looked at him with the intention of scaring him away. “Sir, please can I have some time alone? Stay away from me, I am dangerous. Please stay away!” the man looked unmoved but he did move away to give me some time. I spent about three hours in front of that alter, crying and speaking of the rottenness inside of me. It was now dark outside and I decided enough was enough; it was time to go home! I stood up and walked out of the church. Activity was dying down. Mostly men were on the street and little kids were playing here and there. I never knew there were so many people who struggled to live. They looked like they earned enough to barely get by. So many of them, just so many! Police patrolled the streets in intervals of minutes and I guess it was the only thing that kept the peace. A boy who was playing soccer with his other buddies failed to stop a pass to him. The ball rolled in my direction and I stopped it. I bent down to pick it up and met the boy who had already run to get it. I looked him in his eyes; he had a sparkling innocent look in his eyes. “Can I have my ball, please”, I picked it up and handed it to him. He didn’t leave immediately; he kept on looking at me and all that he could see since I was hiding behind my cap and glasses. “Thank you, bye!” he ran back to his friends who were getting anxious to continue their game.

The innocence of that little boy reminded me of what I once was. I couldn’t breakdown and start crying a river on the street. I stood up and kept on walking home but tears were already rolling down my cheeks. I came to the last corner when I met a gang of men who were smoking and talking about something. They looked at me and started chanting catch phrases and all sorts of weird statements to get my attention. I kept on walking but one of them had the audacity to follow me and keep on trying to woo me. I soon grew tired of his pitiful attempts and stopped to face him. He thought he had won since he got me to stop and started admiring every aspect of my body. Word after word of pathetic excuses for catch phrases were gravitating around me. “I can be your baby daddy any day girl!” I got disgusted by that statement and decided to take matters into my own hands, or foot at least! I kicked him as hard as I could in the genitals! He screeched like a bat and fell to his knees. I pushed him to the ground back first and stepped on his genitals. I had the intention of causing painful enjoyment since he was looking for that. He was such a cry baby for such a tough guy. “Please stop, please!” I liked the feeling of crushing a man’s pride. I increased the pressure and then took my foot off. His friends were having a gas and I figured it was time to continue with my journey. It was a free movie for them and I guess the only thing missing was pop corn; they already had enough the booze! I got home and got up to my apartment. I ran to one of the windows that overlooked the pavement outside as soon as I got home. I could see the men from there and my admirer, so to speak, who was now trying to walk back but I figured the pain must have been excruciating. I didn’t need my split personality to deal with that one, it was just all me!

Crawling Moments: Chapter 6(Defiler’s mound )

The life of praying had never been deeply rooted into my spine. I was a church girl because my dad was a pastor and for the sake of keeping up appearances I had to behave. I doubt in my entire life I ever prayed an honest prayer outside of me being pompous in my assumed Christianity and faith. How could I have faith when all I ever had and all I was, was given to me by my parents? At most I was nothing more than their dream and superimposed image of the reality that was supposed to be my ever propagating sense of life. The thought of leaning on God was such a distant thought that I never entertained it in my mind. Who was I to acknowledge His strength when I never knew it! Lest I be liar, I was not going to trust anyone I didn’t know. I walked out of the bathroom, shaken and defeated and went into the bedroom. I looked around and saw a conveniently placed bible on the dressing table. I walked to it and took it. I opened a random page and read a random verse, “The enemy came to steal, kill and destroy but I came to bla, bla, bla.” Is there a man who didn’t know that verse on this entire planet? I closed the bible and put it back on the dressing table. I was simply not in the mood to entertain things that seemed to not have any sense of guidance and bearing with respect to where I was going at that current time. For a bachelor pad, the place was surely a bore. Gees, a funeral parlour had more ghostly action than this state of boredom that happened to be able to house living people inside it. The bed looked so tempting but I knew that someone would be waiting for me on the other side so I wasn’t too keen on going to sleep.

Jonah looked so cold, so inhuman as if something had consumed every strand of morality in him and given him inhuman supernatural power. I had never seen him before in my entire life but I knew that he had spent years observing me. I never thought of the existence of ‘dimensions’ to be real. Just a pigment of overactive imaginations would have been a better definition for me but in as much as I would have loved to harbour such ignorance; it was quite evident that I was constantly going to one. I touched my belly remembering that in my dream, something had been put into me and I hoped it was just a dream. I wanted children of my own but I hoped a better life for them outside of the chaotic life that plagued this 17 year old. But if I were to be a mother then what kind of a mother would I be? Would I be a good example to my children, would I die early like my mother or I would be a walking curse to my children? Yet Jonah said I would not be able to have children, what if it is true!? Then I am damned to an existence of pain by myself, the curse of the damned! What manner of a man would love me if I cannot bear offspring? Maybe I can be like Hannah but I doubt God would give me the child anyway. I heard the ticking movement of a clock on the wall and looked towards it. The clock wasn’t there when I came in unless it was dead. The timewas 11:45pm. The television was still on and making a distant noise and I now felt hungry. I made my way into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There were 2 minute noodles and next to the fridge was a microwave. I took the noodles out of the fridge with a bit of muttering on my tongue. “Damn it doctor, you do not put 2 minute noodles that haven’t been prepared into a fridge. There is no point. They are still dry!” I read the instructions and popped the noodles into the microwave along with everything else required to make them come out in a consumable state. I went back into the fridge and found orange juice. “Glasses, glasses! Doctor you do know that I need a glass or tumbler.” I opened cupboard after cupboard until I found one with just one glass. The microwave finished processing my food and I opened it and took it out. I poured some OJ into the glass and went to sit by the TV. I ate as much as I could because the thought that kept on crossing my mind was that I am feeding a snake in my belly that would soon grow and cause my belly to explode. Not such a comforting thought but a lady is allowed to think otherwise since the events of the past had left such a deepening scar. Television was a boring feast to my eyes! There was no satellite link so just try to imagine what I was being forced by nature to watch. “The only thing to make this worse is if a Power Rangers ad comes on.” I spoke too soon though, the next three adverts were all about power rangers action figures.

I kind of hit myself on the head with the remote, trying to figure out exactly why I had said what I had. I switched to cartoons and ran into a disaster of a cartoon called ‘Fat dog Mendoza’ or something like that. I quickly had flashbacks of that cartoon and changed the channel. I went onto the local news channel and found them talking about fraud and corruption. How terribly convenient! I switched off the TV and kept on eating as much as I could.  It was now midnight and I was nowhere near daybreak. The chicken coop I was locked in was no breath of fresh air when it came to entertainment and relaxation. I started dozing off on the sofa. I knew I didn’t want to go to sleep but for all I could do, I had little strength to stay awake. I always felt sleepy after eating and this situation was no different. I clutched to the cushion and drifted away to my chaotic slumber land paradise. Jonah was waiting as always, such an expectant character he was. One would think he was all knowing had he or she not seen the veil of stupidity and utter pride that engulfs his character and identity. I was back on the bed and it didn’t take me long to notice that I was naked again. “How is my little friend inside you treating you? He won’t cause any trouble, just try and have kids and find out what he can do. Now to continue with where we left off before you ran out of here. This is the last leg of the operation and I am confident you are going to love the implications of this operation. If you ever have sex with any man, that man will die! Simple isn’t it. Sylvanas doesn’t want to kill you; she is simply going to do stuff to you, at no cost to the average tax payer, now isn’t that the kind of leader we would want to elect into office? Now enjoy!” Behind him was a tub of water and he reached into it. He pulled out a hideous looking viper. The snake looked like it had an attitude problem. “Jonah, what are you doing to do with that? Don’t you dare do something you will regret!” He smiled as if he was unmoved. He touched my right foot and my legs where split open. He put the viper on to my right leg and it started to slither towards…… well, this is now very personal and very disturbing. What he did to me that day was inhuman and disgusting. The snake slithered into me until all of it was inside. I screamed and tried to get free from the forces holding me to the bed but I couldn’t move. I screamed and cried but the snake just went in. I felt heaviness in me now, a corrupting darkness. A lingering sense of evil and corruption had now entered my once tranquil existence. I was breathing heavily, looking in awe and shock but all I could do was look. It was inside me and unless I had a surgical blade, it was going to stay there. “Don’t worry Jun, if you go to see a doctor, he or she won’t find anything in your physical body but trust me, you are now mine and you shall know fear and endless death.” I was now a pile of rottenness, a polluted heap and I felt so vile inside. Jonah walked away and sat in a distant place. I felt myself waking up and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. I soon found myself waking up and I was greeted by a deepened need to leave the apartment. I quickly rushed to get the cell phone so that I could call Henry but the phone had no reception. Reception came back on and I called Henry, “Henry, please come here, a snake crawled into me while I was asleep. It’s in my belly. I won’t be able to have children. Come here. Bring your surgical blades. Please cut it out of me. I have to get out of here. Come now please!” Henry laughed for a bit. “You had a nightmare Jun, you are in downtown and last time I checked, there were no snakes in that area of blocks. You are just being hysterical. Hang in tight and try to get some sleep. I will check on you on my way to work tomorrow morning.” He cut the phone and that’s when I noticed I was alone. I ran into the bathroom and threw myself into the shower with my clothes on. I turned on the cold water so that maybe I could wake up but it soon dawned that I really was awake. I took of my clothes and wrapped myself in a towel that was on the towel rack next to the shower door. I rushed into my bedroom and put on new clothes and wore a hat to cover my baldness. I dug into my clothes looking for gloves and soon found them and put them on. I quickly returned to the mirror in the bathroom and took a look at myself. I felt so foreign in my body, so unreal; a doomed cursed element of human existence. I was no longer beautiful in my eyes, I was corrupted and vile. Respect was not demanded by my looks anymore, just worthlessness.

I looked for the nearest window overlooking the outside pavement and made my way to it. I looked outside and saw no one. I rushed into the lounge and grabbed the little bronze key and unlocked the door. I quickly locked the door and rushed in a direction I knew not! I found myself soon enough, outside! I wasn’t myself, I felt like I was under the control of some superior force. A carnivorous ego had forcefully imprinted its character onto mine and had assumed control of me. I got onto the pavement and started walking down the street to the streetlights three blocks down. My step had changed; I had never walked like this; as if I was an open meat market on legs. Trapped in my own body as a silent observer, quite a nice experience if you are not about to do something wild and crazy. I felt slutty and immoral but I could not stop anything that was happening. I tried to turn back but my mind had lost control over everything. I crossed a street and saw a young man running towards me. From what it looked like, he was on his way home after a long day’s work. He was in a black trousers and white shirt with a slightly loose tie. He held the jacket in his hand as he walked and seemed in a hurry to get home. He must have been working at a restaurant or a bar; well, what else would keep him that late? He was still a block away and I immediately stopped. He crossed the street onto the pavement I was on and from the looks of things he wasn’t going to slow down. “Goo-, Goo-, Good evening miss!” I stepped onto his path to stop him. He tried to move to my right but I cut him off. For a few seconds he tried to get past me but I stopped him on every turn. “Miss, I don’t want any trouble. I, I-, I- just want to get home. It’s been a long day! I have to feed my cat! Please let me through!” He tried to get past me one more time and he rammed into me in an attempt to run over me. I grabbed him by the neck and lifted him off the ground and threw him into a nearby fence on my left. I was in shock in the inside; I did not possess such strength. I was merely skin and bones, and a bit of flesh in the right places. Nothing solid enough to lift another person with one hand. I was now scared, I think even more than my victim. I tried to stop but even I was a prisoner, a victim in this dangerous game. The young man fell to the ground in shock and tried to crawl away. I grabbed him by the belt and pulled him back. Whichever force had control over me started speaking, “Hello Danny, I hope I haven’t caught you at a wrong time. You are forever busy and it is hard to get a hold of you. You want to have some harmless fun? Nothing tricky, you are just going to stand up and we will go home together, just like a happy couple and then we are going to have what I would like to call some midnight action. Nice isn’t it?” I grabbed his collar and pulled him to his feet. The young man was so terrified, shaking in his pants; gosh, maybe even decorating them like it’s summer all over again. “If you try to run, I will kill you. Just chill and take this to be a little adventure; we just want to have fun!” “O-, o-, okay, whatever you say. My house is-, is just two blocks down. That apartment block, room 3, 3-, 308.” He started walking, well between walking and almost falling to his knees in horror but you do get the drift. We arrived to the apartment block and it was the same one I lived in. Room 308 was next to mine! We got up the stairs at a very slow pace and soon enough we were on the floor where our rooms where. “Who else stays on this level Danny?!” he turned to face me and tried to recalibrate his composure, “There is old Miss Sanders in 3, 3-, 3-, 305. She has a hearing problem and is fast asleep now coz she takes medication. There is Je-, Jerry in 301 but he is out on work so it’s just me and Miss Sanders. The doctor who stays in 309 is never home so tha-, tha-, that’s it!” “Good Danny, now keep walking and open the door to your apartment, don’t try to be clever, I will kill you!” Danny, was so terrified, he was shaking so badly as he walked and didn’t look like he would last any longer. To me he was just someone who had fallen victim to a game that should have never gotten to this stage but at most his face had crossed my sight once. I just didn’t know where. We got to room 308 and he pulled out his keys, but he was shaking so much he couldn’t hold the correct key. I held him by the collar and pulled him closer. “Open the door Danny, it’s such a young night!” He was breathing deeply; one would have thought he was going to have an asthma attack. He was weak all over and I was trying to help him and me out of the situation but both of us were weak to this hunter that was controlling me. I kissed him and felt his heart pounding even faster. He fell to his knees and I took the keys from him and opened the door. I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into the apartment, closing and locking the door behind him. That night, I was horrified by what happened to both of us. Danny was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and I was on the verge of killing myself so that all I was seeing could stop. I forced myself onto him, I rapped him! Not once, twice or thrice but five times. I threw his cat out of the window into a tree and violated him badly. At around 4 o’clock in the morning I left his apartment and went into mine. I burst into tears as I closed my door and felt a rumbling madness inside of me. My belly started to hurt as if something inside me had come alive. A voice in my head came into clear hearing, “Ha, nice wasn’t it? Keep going! Remember, since you have started this, you will feel this pain after having sex and the more people you abuse and rape, the more the pain grows. What you do after working hours will be an added benefit to your pain so please try and kick in some overtime. Take care now, and don’t be a stranger!” I felt pain so real I thought I would cry rivers of blood. Danny next door started screaming and bashing the walls. I wanted to go to him but I was so terrified and in so much pain. For about five minutes he was on a rampage, breaking and tearing things apart. In the last minutes or seconds, he called 911 and cried for help. He grew silent after that. 4 minutes later, two sirens stopped in front of the building. I staggered to my feet as the pain was starting to pipe down. I fell onto my bed and quickly dosed off. I didn’t go into the chaos dimension, I was just asleep! I could hear footsteps and people making noise next door. I figured Danny was dead because the cars outside didn’t leave in a rush. Another loud sounding car came along a few minutes later and I just figured it was a meat wagon and soon enough another car came along but it didn’t have the grace of a siren.

About an hour and a half later, I was woken up by a knock on my door. “Hello, is anyone in there? Open up, this is the police!” I rushed to my feet and I didn’t know if I was scared or if I was indifferent. I walked towards the door and as soon as I opened the door, I was that person again. “Good morning miss, I am Detective Jonathan Ross. I would like to ask you a few questions!” I remember my face frowning and asking “Why detective, what happened?” He looked surprised at my response and nodded his head in disbelief. “A man living next door to you, a Daniel Osworth, called 911 over an hour and a half ago asking for help, but when we got here he was dead. There is no sign of forced entry and no sign of any assault on him outside of a few minor bruises. Did you hear or see anything suspicious before we got here!” “No officer, I just moved in yesterday, I didn’t even know I had a neighbour. I was fast asleep and never heard anything. I didn’t hear anything from that room.” “What’s your full name Miss and please tell me how you came to stay here?” “My name is Juniper Miles. This apartment belongs to a friend of mine and he let me stay here until I can find a place of my own. My friend is a doctor at the Mainland hospital. I used to stay on the island but I lost everything when my father died so I moved here.” “Miss Miles, how did you get the scar on your cheek?” I paused for a bit and felt myself crying a bit, “I crashed into a church armrest when I was trying to reach my father as they took him out of the church. He committed suicide in church.” The officer looked indifferent, “Oh yah, that story. Gosh. A lot of people are looking for you. So you are absolutely sure you heard nothing. There are depressions and cracks on the wall showing he must have struck it a number of times with something.” “No detective, I have had a crazy few weeks so I was knocked out plus the medication I got from the doctor isn’t helping when it comes to staying awake. I didn’t hear a thing!” The officer breathed in frustration and smiled a bit. “Thank you Miss Miles. If you remember anything please let us know. We have no evidence as to the cause of death. The old lady there also didn’t hear a thing so the story is not bearing much substance outside of the fact that he is dead. Thank you again Miss and sorry for the disturbance.” As the detective backed away from my door, I saw Henry down the hall coming towards my room. Henry picked up his pace when he saw me standing by the door. His attention quickly turned to room 308 when he saw Danny’s body being put into a body bag. “What happened here, what happened to Daniel?” The detective bent down to look Henry in the face as Henry was on his knees trying to stop the other officers from closing the body bag. The detective held Henry’s hands and told him to wait outside. Henry left the room and came to stand with me by the door. The detective soon came out, “Sir, who are you and how do you know the deceased?” “I am Doctor Henry Griffith; I own room 309 which she is staying in. Daniel used to be my neighbour while I was still staying here but I moved a couple of months back into a bigger place. This lady here started staying here yesterday evening after I discharged her from hospital. What happened to Daniel?” “We don’t know doctor, there are no signs of assault or forced entry and his house is a mess. He had quite a fight before he died but with what we don’t know. We have to wait for the autopsy to reveal the cause of death but so far nothing. We will keep you informed if anything comes up but if you have any information that can help solve this case, please come down to the station and help us out.” The detective backed away as the other officers carried the body out towards the meat wagon and the crime scene boys who had also just arrived came in to dig for clues. Henry pulled me into the room and shut the door. “Jun, what happened here? Did someone try to hurt you?” “No Henry, I am as surprised as you are and I didn’t even hear a thing, that’s the funny part. No one bothered me, absolutely no one. I was here all night and I promise you, I heard nothing next door.” For a novice liar, I surely had found a hidden talent. Henry believed every word of it. He breathed out and looked around the apartment. “Ok Jun, I’ll check up on you more often. If anything happens, call 911 on the cell phone so that they can come and help you. I doubt I can get here as fast as they can.” Henry hugged me, but if he only knew who he was talking to! He had a little satchel with him and he gave it to me. I opened it and it had movies, a Playstation Portable and some games. He smiled, “I know this place lacks in the entertainment department so I bought you these to keep you from going crazy. Take care; I have to get to work. I will pop in later!” Henry opened the door and as soon as he closed it I burst into tears. I rushed to lock the door so that he would not see me crying. Why was this gravitating around me? I had just killed someone. Whoever said sex doesn’t kill would have loved to meet me! I felt so rotten, so defiled and so used I just wanted to die. The events of that night were moments of horror I would never forget. Poor Danny, poor innocent Danny!

Crawling Moments: Chapter 5(Curse of the damned)

I woke up only to realise I was still asleep. I was in my new home, with my nemesis of course sitting on a chair right in front of me. I had been lying on the floor and as I got up, he stood from the chair and walked to me slowly, clapping his hands. “Bravo Juniper, you actually survived that, wow! I am truly shocked. Don’t worry, you are still alive, you just had an allergy attack. My master told me about your allergy so I wanted to test out just how true it is. I guess she had done her research right!” I looked at him with ounces of anger building in me but I failed to summon myself to do anything. I stood and looked around me. I saw a mirror in a corner. I walked towards it and stood before it. I stepped back in disbelief; the person in the mirror really wasn’t me. My head had been shaved bald. All my long beautiful black hair had been removed. I broke into tears and despair. He approached me and stood behind me. “Well, your hair is gone. Hmmm, that’s a start. So that we understand each other, I will leave nothing beautiful on you. I knew eggs would make you have an allergy attack so I had one of my minions orchestrate the little event outside the hospital. He threw the eggs and his target was your hair. I guess I have to pay him for his services. A job well done I have to say”. I looked into the mirror again and saw that really a part of me had been taken. I wiped away the tears while I was crawling back to where I was lying before. I rested my back on the wall and summoned the strength to speak. “You have taken a part of me. Why? What did I ever do to you for you to seek to hurt me? Why can’t you just leave me alone? Must you turn the entire world against me?” As I spoke I started crying again because of the emotional distress I had just been plummeted into. I now didn’t want to wake up because I knew what I was going to see. He walked towards me while he was dragging the chair behind him. He sat down and laughed in a deep horrific voice. “You did nothing, but that doesn’t mean I cannot hurt you. I am going to hurt you because of what you do not know. You did nothing and for that you shall perish!” He suddenly vanished from in front of me and I felt myself waking up. I tried to hold on to the chair so that I wouldn’t wake up but I found my eyes wide open in a matter of seconds. I was back in the ward I had left before and in front of me was a new doctor who had volunteered to attend to me. I recognised him; he was my father’s friend. He knew my father and I had always called him by his name. “Henry, where have you been? What happened to my hair?” he approached me and sat next to me. “Well Juniper, nice to see you too and oh, about your hair, since your hair was covered in eggs and other substances, washing it would not have gotten rid of the stench. This could have led to another allergy attack so I resolved to shave it off so that you don’t fall sick. It will grow back in time, don’t worry about it. It would have taken too long to get the stench out of your hair so I had to do it, for your sake.” He gave me a mirror and left the room. I looked into the mirror and started weeping. It was true what I had seen, I was bald! I looked like a patient straight out of chemotherapy with very few reasons to smile about. I had never seen myself with a bald head; I felt so, so ugly! Henry came back into the room with some food and sat next to me. “It’s either you eat this by yourself or I sedate you and put it through a drip. Make your choice?”I quickly dug in so that I could finish while he watched. I wasn’t about to go back to sleep on account of refusing to eat. I could see pity on his face as I ate and he put keys onto my lap. I looked at him with a puzzled face. “That’s an apartment I rent downtown. It’s where I first stayed straight out of college. It isn’t much but it can do. If you get dressed I can take you there now and leave you there. It has enough food for long rainy days so don’t worry about it. I looked at myself and noticed I was in a thin white dress like thing. I looked at Henry with a mouth full of food, “Where did you get what I am wearing?” He looked at me and laughed “Bad manners! I managed to sneak some clothes out of your house so yah, I found it in your room along with some of the things I have already taken to the apartment. I thought that dress was your night dress! Finish eating and get dressed, it will be dark soon and it will be time to get you out of here.” I did not have a dress like this but if it was found in my room then I guess I bought it sometime. Henry was a good man, a friend to my dad but I never expected so much gratitude from him. He left the room and I took it as an opportunity to change clothes. I had new clothes at the end of my bed and I quickly got into them.

I looked at the white dress I had taken off and I tried to remember where I had gotten it. I remembered that it was the dress I was wearing in the chaos dimension when I almost got frozen to death. My heart paced faster and I threw it into the bin. Henry came back into the room and looked at me without a word proceeding from his lips for a second. He then shifted his gaze to the window and walked towards it. He looked out and muttered the word “Good”. I looked out the window and saw a lot of people wandering outside as if they were waiting for something. It’s funny how people can set camps for the weirdest of reasons! Henry looked at me with a chilling stare, “They are waiting for you strangely. Had I known you would be such a drama icon I would have launched an entire sitcom series based on your ordeal. I would be a rich man you know! The police are going to keep them at bay; we are going to use an ambulance to get to my old apartment. While you are there, stay indoors! I will check up on you as much as I can. All the necessities for at least two months are in that apartment and I put in a T.V and radio for you to keep track of what happening. Please, stay indoors, these people will hurt you if they get the chance. I couldn’t live with myself if I let my friend’s child suffer the same fate as he did.” I nodded my head in agreement but I wasn’t quite sure if I did so out of an impulse of fear or an established seat of reasoning. Henry walked towards the door and did some hand signal to a nurse. The nurse came in with a stretcher bed along with two other nurses. Henry stretched an open palm towards the bed and I guessed that was the cue for me to lie on the bed so that we could head to the ambulance. I got onto the bed and the nurse tied the drip onto my hand so that it would look like I was on it. Henry pulled out a bandage roll and told me to sit upright. He started wrapping it around my head. After wrapping it around my head, he said, “Iodine saves the day.” He told me to lie down and spilled some liquid over my bandaged head. A sheet was thrown over me. I could hardly see because of the bandage and the stench of the liquid that was spilt over me caused my nose to think of all bad smelling things in the world. Henry stood to my right and started speaking, “For this plan to work, you must not move. We are going to rush you out of here on the pretence of moving you to another hospital that is capable of dealing with your head injuries. Don’t move, don’t speak, just breath and you will be fine.” A person came rushing in, “The elevator is on hold let’s get her out of here. It will go to the top most floor and then down.”

My bed suddenly started racing in a direction I didn’t know. All the doctor’s and nurse’s talking and shouting started filling the air around me. The elevator was at the end of the hall so it was about a ten second race at our speed. We got into the elevator and I heard the doors close. The elevator went up and then down. When we were at the ground floor the door opened and then the bed started moving again. “Clear the way, clear the way. Keep the legs and arm fastened, if the pain gets too much we could have another violent episode.” The bed was still cruising and I could hear people around me moving back as we sped through. “What’s happening, what’s wrong with that person?” were the questions flying around. I started shaking myself vigorously. After all, I had to play along with the plan so that it would look like what they were saying was true. The nurse called out, “Doctor, she’s getting violent again! I doubt the morphine is working. Should I increase the dosage?” from what I could tell, Henry was enjoying this. “No, don’t increase the dosage. Just pray that we can get her to surgery before she goes into shock.” We kept on moving until we stopped. I heard a door open and my bed fell down abruptly and then it was lifted and pushed forward. Someone entered into the ambulance with me and then the doors closed. A siren started filling the air as the ambulance started to cruise out of the hospital grounds. The sheet covering me was removed and I felt hands reach to the back of my head as they removed the bandage around my head. Soon enough, I could see again but I wish I could have seen something better than a laughing doctor. The ambulance was rushing somewhere and all we could do was remain cooped at the back like a bunch of freshly canned sardines. “Sorry for the episode, that was the only way to get you out of there with little suspicion. By the time they figure out what happened, no one will know where you are.” I looked at him and thought, “Who is driving?” He looked at me with intrigue, “What’s on your mind Jun?” I sat up and stretched my hands while shifting my gaze to him. “You say no one will know where we are going but who is driving?” The ambulance had a little window linking the driver’s section to the back of the ambulance. A voice came in from the driver “We are almost there doctor. Hold on a bit!” I had an even bigger face of puzzle sticking out as I didn’t recognise the voice of the man who spoke. Henry cut in, “Oh June, that’s Elvis, he is an undertaker at a local funeral parlour. He is taking care of your dad’s body. He is a friend of both your father and I so you can trust him. I asked the hospital director to borrow the ambulance so that I could sneak you out. Considering what happened last time, she agreed but on the condition that I could get a driver she trusted. So who can she trust more than the man who handles more bodies than her hospital per year?” Elvis laughed after hearing the last part and slowed down the car as he turned right. “We are here Jun, if the directions my dear doctor gave me are not wrong!” Henry looked shocked by the joke as he waited for the car to stop. The vehicle came to a stop and it felt like we were in some alleyway. Henry opened the back doors of the ambulance and stepped out. I got out after him and tried to get a sense of direction with respect to where I was. Elvis remained inside the vehicle and called me to come to the driver’s window. “You are the daughter of a friend of mine. No matter what he did or didn’t do, I will always be a loyal friend. Take care of yourself and let me know if you ever need company. Even the walking dead are known to talk once in a while.” The window rolled up and I took it as my cue to leave. Henry was waiting behind the ambulance and he took me by the hand and led me down the alley to an old door. He took out a bunch of keys and used the longest to open the door. The door screeched as it opened and he looked at me sarcastically, “ladies first I presume.” I walked in and he followed me closing the door with a soft hand as if he was trying to keep silence as a golden virtue in my ascent to freedom. He went ahead of me and started climbing the stairs immediately in front of us. I followed after him trying to avoid getting lost. The place looked so old. Gold light spanned the stairs as we went up. Dead flowers in flower pots that last saw water the day Noah stepped out of the ark were placed awkwardly on the stairs. The sounds of rats fighting for mussels (?check spelling) of food were heard time and time again, echoing like the voices of times past in my dreams. We had climbed at least three floors. He then took his bunch of keys and looked for the smallest bronze key and held it. He started walking down a hall to the right of the staircase to a room at the end of the hall, apartment 309. He stopped at the door and inserted the key and held the door knob for a few seconds. He turned the door knob and pushed the door in. He pressed a light switch just next to the door and the room became visible. It was a pure bachelor pad if I had to comment. A couch and TV in the lounge, a dining room combined with a kitchen and a bedroom and bathroom down a small passage to my left. I was looking at all this while my head was peering through the door. I finally summoned myself and walked into the apartment.

The place looked comfy, homely even but I was a bit terrified about the entire look of the place. It looked like Henry had cleaned it anticipating my arrival and brought in some few things to make my stay comfortable. Henry grew tired of my selective viewing and grabbed me by the hand and pulled me into the apartment and closed the door. “Down there is your bedroom with all the stuff I managed to take from your house. The bathroom is next to it and don’t worry it is clean. This is the leisure zone comprising of a kitchen and lounge. I fitted a small dining room for the sake of retaining some sense of sanity with respect to the entire essence of it being the home of a woman for the next foreseeable future. The kitchen is crammed with food. Toiletries and other bathroom essentials are in the bathroom. The rest of anything you will need is in your bedroom so do take time to get acquainted with everything in here. I wouldn’t want you panicking thinking that some biochemical conundrum is under your bed when it’s just your provisions. Now Jun, don’t ever leave this place, I will come and check on you and I will stay in touch. In your bedroom is a cell phone. I will use it to contact you so keep it with you always. Don’t trust anyone out there, a lot of people want your head so until this rolls over, stay here!” Henry stood up and I looked at him with thanks in my eyes but fear in my heart. He took his bunch of keys and removed the small bronze key from the bunch and placed it on the table. He walked towards the door and turned to look at me as he left. “This is time to rest. You have a war ahead of you. Don’t do anything stupid Jun.” He closed the door and I felt him walking down the hall and then his footsteps disappeared as he went down the stairs. I sat on the couch looking at my new surroundings, clueless of what to say or think.

I so wished mommy or daddy were with me, I was so lost! I breathed out and grabbed the key on the table. I stood up and walked towards the door. I locked the door and walked around my new home. I approached one of the three windows in the room and looked outside. I did not recognise where I was, there were men standing on the corner exchanging cigarettes and drinking what looked like water, “But why would people bunch up to drink water by the corner of a street?” I asked myself. I moved away from the window fearing someone would see and recognise me. I went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There were a lot of things but what took my attention was a chocolate bar. I took it out and unwrapped it as I walked towards the bedroom. I entered the bedroom and my heart was startled a bit. The siren of the ambulance downstairs started ringing and it echoed off the buildings into the deepest crevices of my brain. My heart bound; blood raced in my veins as if I had just come from seeing a scary monster. I heard the vehicle accelerate as it went on its away, the siren fading into nothing along the way. I summoned myself and looked around the room. The closet was full of my stuff and a little radio was next to the bed on a bed stool. A white light shone through little windows at the top of the wall facing the street below. I approached a bigger window on the wall and looked outside. There was an alley way and a department store immediately in front of me. I moved from the window and walked towards the bathroom. I peeped into the bathroom and it looked ordinary; shower, toilet and a basin to wash everything that could fit in it. A mirror was on the wall and I felt the urge to walk towards it. As I came to see myself in the mirror, I saw the healing scar on my face. I touched it and started having flashbacks of how it came to be. I quickly raced out of the bathroom and into the lounge. I sat on the couch and saw the TV remote right in front of me on the table. I took it and switched on the TV. A talk show was on but I wasn’t in the mood to see it. I switched to cartoons and I soon found myself drifting to sleep, something that I had dreaded doing but as an involuntary force of nature, sleep had its hours of control.


Tick, tick, tick, like the sound of a coin rolling down the stairs here was a reality shaping itself around me. I opened my eyes to see my nemesis standing before me with a huge grin on his face. I was lying on a hospital bed and felt quite awkward. I tried to get up but only managed to raise my head a bit. I looked down to my feet and saw that I was naked. Being in my birthday suit in front of a man was not exactly a prized experience on my list but it was quite evident that I had no control over it. My arms and feet where bound to the bed and all I could do was feel awkward and violated. He walked closer to me and hissed slightly. A voice came from behind him, “Jonah, she is now ours. Make sure she enjoys this.” A woman came from behind him and she had hideous and disturbing beauty. At all, the scent of evil was dripping off her skin like the scent of immorality drips from the saliva of a prostitute. She walked towards me, clad in black and sat next to me. She touched my wound and looked me in the eyes. A deep chill went through me and I felt cold and numb inside. “I am Sylvanas, matriarch of this dimension to which you are a prisoner and slave. For long a time you have plagued me but now you are mine.” She stood up and walked away slowly becoming nothing. Her voice came from nowhere “Do not disappoint me Jonah, do your work.” Jonah approached me and stood motionless with intent eyes. “Now you know my name, now know my hand!” Jonah was about to do something but I never imagined he would be such a hurtful hand unto my bones. He reached out his right hand and touched my face. My skin and facial flesh completely dried up momentarily as if I was a mummified Egyptian. I felt corruption so real and rotten upon my face that even the stench of my own breath harboured the corruption of rotten cremated flesh. He removed his hand from me and I felt human again, my face felt normal again but his hand had a deepening darkness in it. He laughed and then touched my head. A pounding crippling pain raced into my head from all directions and for a few seconds I felt as if my head was going to completely explode off my shoulders. Throbbing and pounding, I felt no peace until he removed his hand and my head became normal again. I was breathing so fast I was beginning to gasp for every breath of air I could get. He moved one step down towards my feet and stretched his hand over my torso. I started to wrestle, trying to free myself from the bed before he could land his hand on me. But the more I tried to set myself free, the tighter the grip that was holding me would become. Jonah did to me things I never imagined real and the mental scars he left on made Frankenstein stories look like childhood comic stories that were meant to put little kids to sleep. At that moment, he touched my breasts and they turned into heaps of rotting maggots. The smell was so foul and so inhuman that I felt the urge to vomit. He smiled at me as he was doing this and I felt like such a slave! He lifted his hand and put it into his pocket. He paused for a second and smiled again. “Jonah, please don’t do this, stop it! You are hurting me Jonah!” He smiled even more and pulled something out of his pocket. He pulled out a little worm like snake and looked me with both eyes. “Now this is a treat, after this you shall not be able to bear offspring so enjoy.” With the snake in hand, he touched my belly and I felt the snake enter into my womb through my belly button. I screamed so hard I woke up in the process and found myself gasping for air as I chocked on my saliva. I rushed to the bathroom to look into the mirror. Nothing had changed on my face and my head was intact so I breathed out in relief but such is the life of man that joy is only short lived. I couldn’t understand what was going on but slowly I was beginning to think I was being given the curse of the damned, to live, suffer and die with no peace, no peace at all!

Crawling Moments: Chapter 4(Closing Doors)

Ignorance is the virtue of the walking dead! The mind of a fool races with the wind as much as the mind of an oppressed man stands in a locked box with the key stuck on the palm of his hands. Had I seen the deepened levels of my ignorance, maybe I would have chosen differently. Deep in the crevices of my mind were all my regrets, for in this moment I was embracing a cold fringe world existence through an exile I had facilitated. “I don’t know doctor, I don’t know! Someone is in my head and I can’t get him out.” Such words seem like the notions of a child afraid of the dark. Truth is, I was afraid of the dark, I was afraid of the chaos dimension. I was now afraid of going to sleep and the only way to make it through was to find a way of staying alive without sleeping. “I am fine doctor, I just had a nightmare”. What else was I to say? He would have sent me to a nut case camp for all eternity if I didn’t act proper. I wasn’t about to become a brain dead cookie for the sake of a nightmare experience. The doctor nodded his head and then left the room. I had calmed down substantially and this led the nurses to leave me by myself. The ward was cold; a breeze was coming though the door as if Santa Claus and his vertically challenged elves along with the entire North Pole had camped next door. The cold felt terribly familiar but I tried as much as I could to deny it. “He is only in my mind, he can’t be anywhere else”. I kept on telling myself this as if I was a child trying to reassure myself that mom would not find out that I finished all the sugar in the sugar basin. It was only a few more hours to daylight. I looked around; trying not to fall asleep but there was nothing. Like the womb of a once pregnant woman who has just had a miscarriage, everything around me and in me was empty. Only a gaping memory of the fullness that once was alive in me and around me left its stain on my mind. How could daddy have died like that? Who do I have left now, I don’t know anyone except my two cousins Rudolph and Nancy. But both of them are in Europe right now, they can’t come here! I thought and thought until I failed to recognise that I was drifting into dream land again. Slowly my eyes closed and I lay there, asleep once again!

“Wake up Juniper”, a voice echoed into my ears. I opened my eyes and saw him. He looked ever ugly, cunning and shrewd. “What am I doing back here?” “You fell asleep and I guess you figured out what happens when you fall asleep after all. You do look like you have an ounce of brightness in you even though I doubt the substance of that fact. “His voice echoed into the deepest cracks of the chaos dimension as he stood there, right in front of me, cold, motionless and with a sickening smile on his face. “What is your name?” I asked him. He stood silent for a few seconds, “I am corruption; my name is of no concern to you. Worry not about my name, worry about what your name shall mean in the eyes of the people. For no longer will you be known as the pastor’s daughter but you shall be known as filth.” He came closer to me and touched my chin with the tips of right hand fingers while his left hand brushed over my cheek scar. “It is time for you to know what I will do to you. I will violate every fibre of your existence; leave you barren and horrid to any man’s eye. You shall try to take your life and we will come to get you when the time comes. All shall be taken from you and drunkenness will be your day and night. Cats and dogs shall know you by the smell of corrosion and death as your lose yourself in drugs. Many more you shall see. Now depart from me and embrace your fate”. It immediately began getting darker around me and I could feel that I was in motion. I suddenly woke up and it was sunrise. The doctor mysteriously walked in and said “The police are here to see you. However, after they are done you will have to leave because we cannot keep you here anymore. ” As soon as he said that, two men walked into the room and one of them said, good morning ma’am I am Detective Scott Anderson and this is Detective Sergeant Cranston, we are here to question you in connection with your father’s death.” I felt my tummy turn and my saliva was failing to go down my throat. “Sorry to have to question you at such a time but it’s important so that we can close the case. Ma’am, we know you were the last person we have on record as having been in contact with the deceased. Can you tell us what happened in the house the time I called? The two officers outside told me that you left in such a rush and something seemed suspicious.”

I looked at him and summoned the strength to speak. “You called while I was having breakfast. My father had left his phone downstairs and then I answered it for him and spoke to you. I don’t remember what you said but then he snatched the phone from me after I told him you were on the phone. After that we had a fight but I don’t remember what it was about and I left and went to church I think.” The detective shifted his sitting position and looked me directly in the eye, “I understand that the doctor said you have been out for a long time so please try to remember as much as you can. Did your father mention anything about his company’s running and deals, or show signs of being involved in some illegal dealings”? I looked at him wanting to blast him for calling my father a thief but then I quickly remembered how jumpy my father was when he took the phone from me. “The time you called, he seemed jumpy and in some form of a frenzy. I think he shouted at me for answering his phone and told me to never do it again. Yah, he was jumpy, that I remember, about what though I don’t know. He had been spending a lot of time on his cell phone as well. Something about ‘the tracks’ but he would always walk away if I ever got close. He told me to keep out of his business and mind my own business. Something like that! I don’t know if he had been involved in anything illegal but he was acting weird for some time.” The detective was taking notes and then his associate cut in and asked me “Did you have contact with him before he shot himself.” “I last was in contact with him at the house where we had a fight. After that I only saw him on stage and that’s when he shot himself.”

The detectives looked at each other and detective Anderson stood up and reached into his pocket. He pulled out his card and gave it to me. “Anytime you remember anything else please contact us. Due to the suspicion that your father embezzled people’s money, all his assets are being frozen immediately. This means the house you were staying in is under the state as well as all of his assets. I suggest you find someone to stay with until this whole mess is cleared up, good day Ma’am.” The detectives walked out of the room while my jaw was still down in shock. Where was I going to stay, I didn’t have relatives in town and the rest of the town wanted to murder me. All distant and demented thoughts of my nemesis in the chaos dimension came to bear in my mind. Slowly like any river that had burst its banks, tears started trickling down my cheeks.  Surely I had to be in a semi-real dispensation of a dream for I could not recall every signing up for such tumultuous events in my life. Like a cat left out in the rain, no longer did I had the comfort of a shoulder to lean on. All my answers were never sought for but were given to me so now how could I make decisions and come up with answers for myself. If at most my identity was assumed, once my assumption lost the foundation of its understanding then by no right would I have the pride to call myself a person. For in the end how could I call myself a person if I could not be able to survive on my own? Pain and hurt would be my new friends; tears would be my water until my tear ducts run dry. Hopefully by then I will have no reason to live anymore. Just like the closing door of a once so secure sanctuary, as you watch them close from outside, you will notice how weak and frail you really are. Tertullian in one of his writings said, “Women are frail, weak and without much understanding”. If I were to agree with him then I would be succumbing to the thought of being a weak, frail woman but it felt true in my thoughts. The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence! Looking strong but feeling weak would be all that would safeguard me now. Very soon the doctors would come to remove me from here into the ravenous hell holes of pit lords and demonic warlocks that are looking to rip off every strand of decent fibre from my body and give me corrupted alloys to further send me into a deepened state of emotional turmoil and torment. How I would survive, truly I didn’t know!  My world was now an endless twist of ethereal vexations, things I never thought possible. Already I felt hollow and undefined inside! I took the time to get dressed in what looked like the cleaned up clothes I came here in.

The doctor came in pushing a wheelchair soon after and I knew it was now time to step into death row. “I hired a taxi to take you wherever you want to go.”  I got off the bed and walked towards him. I stood before him with no words but a face of distant memories and ever so real scars. I sat in the wheelchair and he pushed me out into the main foyer. As the wheels of the wheelchair moved so steadily to an awaiting abyss, I noticed that everyone was looking at me. The looks on their faces were terrifying! Murder was spelt upside down on their faces and their eyes were mirrors unto their words. “She is the one! Yes, the one with the father who stole the money.” Those words trickled into my ears from all corners of the room as everyone talked about me. As we approached the door a woman came in through the door towards me. The police who were guarding my room were far back and I only had the doctor to count on. She approached me with an open palm and smashed it onto my bandaged wound with another open palm going for my left cheek. The doctor stepped in and grabbed her hands. The police arrived and restrained her. “You lying piece of trash, I will kill you! How could you and your father take all my money? You lying piece of trash, I hope you suffer, die even!” The front door was wide open and I could hear a crowd of people waiting for me outside. I was still rubbing my face trying to console myself for what was coming. What words were there to change the situation? Innocent until proven guilty only worked in Judge Advocate General movies and here I was about to face a fate worse than a court martial. The doctor took a hold of the wheelchair and pushed me forward. We came out of the hospital to be faced by an angry mob of people who were being pushed back by police. “There she is. You stole our money, our lives, and our dreams for our children. You will burn for this you hell hound, you will burn!” I was still shocked by the amount of disgruntled people that I never noticed a barrage of eggs that were coming my way. I turned my head unknowingly only to be hit on the left eye with one of the eggs. The egg exploded onto my face as I closed my eyes at the right time. The stench of the egg shook the bowels of my stomach. Another egg hit me on the forehead and exploded onto my hair while another hit me on my neck. The police rushed to cover me from the attack, but the damage had already been done. Mommy and daddy were the only people who knew I was terribly allergic to eggs. My stomach turned and groaned until I was forced to fall off my wheelchair onto my side and vomit. My face was covered in eggs and my hair marinated in vomit. My eyes started tearing as I lay in between the police and the doctor rushed to his knees to see what was wrong with me. My body started jerking uncontrollably and my mouth was foaming. Maybe it was the eggs, or the shock of the events or both but I really thought I was going to die. Hospital staff rushed to where I was and took me back into the hospital. I lost consciousness with the thought of all I had seen. Truly, my nemesis had done his work well.