Corey before you continue, answer me this. Did you ever sort out your differences with your brother? Yes I did actually. After my sister left, he was the only sibling I had left so we ended up spending a lot of time together. I remember one of his birthdays. He didn’t get any presents and I saw depression on his face. I took all my pocket money and bought him a cake, chips and all the unusual birthday things. I remember seeing the smile on his face though none of us smiled a lot. I sang him happy birthday in what was a very sharp and penetrating voice back then. We ate all the stuff I had bought and watched Tom and Jerry on cartoon network. Those cartoon characters seemed to symbolize our day to day activities at most. He always had the tendency of barging into my room unexpectedly and also infringing on my turf but because of all the fighting we had actually observed a truce and ended up respecting each others boundaries. We had a lot of funny and memorable moments. If he wanted to get the remote from me, he would not ask. He would stand up with a newspaper in his hand and then approach me. I would look at him and then he would throw the newspaper onto my face while he snatched the remote from me. Genius right! Shrewd and effective I have to say, but carry on Corey. He used to make me remember the good old days with my sister. Playing makeup and dress up. Yes, me in a dress, as traumatic as it sounds! Playing miniature war in the yard together and bugging mommy to intervene when my brother was refusing to surrender. Trying to play hide and seek but always getting caught because my dog followed me everywhere. He helped me let go of my dog whet it died at the age of thirteen. I cried because one of my lifetime companions had left me but the tears did not stain my cheeks forever. He helped me remember the good old days and I thought he would never leave.
I wish that was my happy ever after. Sooner than later he had to go to school where my sister was and I remember standing at the airport as the plane took off. I tried to shed crocodile tears but a few tears ran over my cheeks. He was going, my last friend was going. I am all alone now. Mommy is all I have. First my sister now him. I briefly enjoyed pillaging his bedroom. I moved into his room so that I could hold the memories of him close to me. I remember how my sister told me of how he was acting. He wasn’t talking anymore. I sent him an email and told him that I wasn’t there anymore and he had to meet new people. He listened and came out of his shell. I tried to be brave but the emptiness was killing me. How could there be a Tom without Jerry, a Sylvester without Tweety. The vastness of the house made me feel so lonely without even trying to feel like that. I remember falling asleep on the sofa while I was watching TV. I started dreaming that my brother was sitting next to me and jumping up and down on the sofa as he switched in-between channels every four seconds. Mommy blames me for destroying the lounge sofas but I know who really did it, but it is my secret! I loved my siblings and I still do. There is nothing humanly possible I wouldn’t do for them. I remember hearing of their suffering as they were abroad. It hurt me to think of their suffering.
One day while I was asleep at my aunt’s house; I was woken up by both my mom and aunt. They told me that they had consulted a spirit medium as they were trying to ascertain the cause to my sibling’s misery. The spirit medium told them that my father’s mother had bewitched me and my siblings. However, in order for the spell to be broken, I had to come and stand on their behalf through a three day cleansing ritual. Wait a minute Corey, you are telling me that your family was involved in witchcraft! Another crazy twist to the story ha! It’s not witchcraft but it’s a traditional aspect to our culture that involves complex spiritual attributes in a sense. Ok Corey, go on then. I remembered the way my siblings were suffering trying to pay their school fees and stuff and I felt obliged to help them. I agreed and my mom and aunt took me to the witchdoctor as I like to refer to spirit mediums. She ordered my two custodians to buy a live chicken and bring it to her. They did as they were told. The witchdoctor then killed the chicken, took the blood of the chicken and some of its internal organs and put them aside. She then ordered everyone into the car and led us to a secluded river that was flowing down a hill. When we got there she told me to remove all my clothes except for the boxer short I was wearing inside. She then told me to sit facing the direction in which the river was coming from. I did so, shivering from a chilly wind that was blowing down the hill. The witchdoctor then poured the chicken blood onto me and rubbed the internal organs of the chicken all over me while she was cursing. She then gave me the organs and a black cloth and instructed me to put the organs in the black cloth and tie them up. I did as she said and she told me to throw it behind me and not look back as I walked towards the river bank. I did so and came to the bank of the river.
The witchdoctor came to me and told me to sit in the water. I did it hesitantly because the water was freezing cold. She then started pouring the rushing water onto me, cursing the spirits that we troubling my siblings and I. When she was done she told me to walk to the car and not look back. I did so and got into my clothes while I was in the car. We went home that day and woke up to go back to the same place the following day. We got there and the witchdoctor gave me some porridge that had herbs in it. She told me to eat it using my bare fists and while I was eating I was suppose to curse the spirits that were troubling my siblings and I. I did so and I endured a lot of sour porridge mind you. However, for my siblings I did it. After I had finished eating, I had to flip over the plate as a sign of completing my curses of which I did flawlessly. She then gave me a pouch of herbs. She instructed me that on the following day just after sunset I was to take a bath. In the bathing water I was going to use, I was going to put the herbs in the pouch she gave me. As I was going to be bathing, I was instructed to curse all the spirits like before. Then after I was done bathing I was to get out of the water and use a container with a lid to scoop up water from the tub and seal it in with the lid. After doing this, I was instructed that I was suppose to go to a place where one road breaks into two and give my back to the splitting road. I was told that I was to command the spirits into that bottle and then throw it behind me and walk home and not look back. I did as she said and did not overlook a detail. The happiness of my siblings meant so much to me, they are all I had. Ancestral worship was a day to day activity of our lives. Every year we had a thanksgiving ceremony to thank the ancestors for protecting us. I started drinking alcohol at the age of five and it is said that I was destined to become a spirit medium. My mother was and is a spirit medium after all. Let’s just say like mother like son!
Nevertheless, the distance between me and my siblings was too long to bear. Talking on the phone was not the same as seeing them, fighting all day and giving mommy a headache. I became highly reserved and depressed. My father didn’t make it any better. He constantly mocked my school work. Nothing I did was ever good enough. He always found reason to bring me down. My anger towards him led me to train karate. My sensei always said I was too aggressive. True as it was, I trained only for one reason? I had finally resolved to kill my father. Every detail of the plan had to be perfect. I couldn’t use a gun because ballistics could catch me easily. I could not use a knife because it was too messy. I thought of a snake but just catching the damn critter was hard enough. I resorted to martial arts because it manipulates pressure points. I wanted to beat him to death using my fists. To leave him in a pool of his own blood. There was nothing left to care for. I was all alone. Mommy would not understand, he had to die, his blood was mine. He had to pay for all that he had done to me. I didn’t care if I would be charged with murder in the first degree and end up getting the death penalty. As long as I had returned the favour. Death, such a misleading mistress she is. She told me that I was justified for wanting to do what I wanted to do. My other me was already sharpening its teeth for the cannibalistic acts that were going to proceed.
After killing my father, I wanted to kill mommy. I blamed her for not protecting me from my father. She had to die as well. Then I wanted to kill my siblings for leaving me all alone. All of them had to die. Then my purpose would be fulfilled.